On selling through questions
We were 45 minutes into the call.
I hadn’t pitched anything, described my services or mentioned fees.
I’d just been asking questions.
Questions about their culture, their people, how they thought about belonging inside a large organization, what their gatherings had felt like in the past, what was still missing. Questions that went deeper than what the event was supposed to accomplish, into what they actually wanted for the people showing up.
And then, Dr. Rollin McCraty, long time Research Director at HeartMath Institute® stopped me.
“Jon, every question you’ve asked is one we should be asking. So our only assumption is you actually know how to do all these things. Come lead our global conference next month.”
The Question Is the Demonstration
I think about that call a lot.
What I was doing in those 45 minutes wasn’t discovery. At least, it wasn’t only that.
Every question I asked was drawn from something I knew how to do. I wasn’t asking about opening rituals because I was curious. I was asking because I know what it means to design one that changes the temperature of a room.
The questions were the demonstration.
This is something that took me years to learn. And I still work at it.
Most of us who lead groups for a living walk into sales conversations carrying the pressure to explain ourselves. We’re ready to describe our approach, defend our methods, or justify our fees.
We’ve prepared our answers.
The problem is that a room of executives isn’t looking for your answers. They’re looking for evidence that you understand their questions.
When your questions open something for them, they already know what working with you would feel like.
And there’s almost nothing more compelling than that.
What Gets Built in 45 Minutes
The HeartMath® call didn’t end with them agreeing to hear my pitch. It ended with them inviting me to lead their Global Coherence Conference, 45 days later, in Tulum Mexico, because the conversation itself had given them confidence.
(And before I forget to mention, there are very few organizations whose work is needed more badly than the practices and research created by HeartMath. Never before have we needed to tap our highest human potential, with tools like the ones they offer.)
That outcome of the conversation wasn’t accidental. It came from preparation that most people skip.
Before calls like that, I’ll walk through my questions out loud. In the woods behind my house, or just alone in a room.
I’m not rehearsing answers. I’m rehearsing how to ask.
I’m looking for the question that surfaces what they actually care about. The one that reveals a gap they’ve stopped thinking about.
I do this because, as I’ve said in our community many times, you get one bite at the apple. You get one real chance to land in the right position with someone. The conversation you have before they’ve made up their mind is the most important one.
The quality of the questions you bring to that conversation is where the positioning happens.
Most facilitators I know are extraordinary at leading a room.
Fewer have built a practice of bringing that same quality of attention to the conversation before the room even starts.
That’s the gap. And it’s worth closing.
Stay curious,
Jon
P.S. If this resonates, come experience it in person during our next two-hour intro workshop. It’s an experiential introduction to Conscious Convening, and the best way I know to feel what this work is actually like. Bring a friend. Over 25,000 people from around the world have joined us over the last five years, and I still love every room. Reserve your spot here.